Characters: Me (I) , my son ( T), the father of my child (E)
I knew that I was going to be a single mom before my son was born. It was my idea. E and I are a bird and a fish. We loved each other deeply but we have no common place to live. While my heart desperately wanted our picture to be complete, my mind knew it wasn't and couldn't be. So......after 16 months of disappointment and depression with all tears and fears in hand, I asked E to step aside and allow me to embrace single parenthood. YES.. I removed him (Not spitefully- Progressively)
Doing so meant he couldn't communicate with us for an extended period of time that we both agreed upon. We didn't share our agreement with anyone who couldn't support it. I encouraged him to find himself during the break and decide what type of father he wanted and WOULD be. Meanwhile, I was making similar decisions and preparing to do it without him.
I believe men always have the option of walking away and women don't. If you ever should find yourself raising children alone, I advocate for women to step away from societal pressures, norms, and burdens. Reevaluate your circumstances. What course of action will result in the happiest you? Happiest child? Happiest existence?
After seven months of struggle, I arrived at a new perspective. I am not a victim for being a single mom. T and I are a complete family. I am NOT a baby-mama. I have strengths to share, wisdom to impart and joy to experience. T and I became a team and I recognized him as an asset- not a deficit.
Practicality: Seeing as I'm itinerary-crazed, I created an itinerary for T and I. I fall short.... every day.. yet.... We're very pleased with our life. T and I travel together; we frequent museums, restaurants, festivals, drive-in movies, whatever! Instead of waiting for someone to ask me to do these things, I choose to do them with T. We match outfits, takes pictures, enjoy each other.
Tip: Don't broadcast your awesome momminess on FB, Twitter, or to your social circles for at least two months. This will help you enjoy the experience versus the validation.
Good luck on the journey from victim to victor!
Stay tuned for E came up with.....
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